


Ricknames

by chibajun



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Fluff, Just Married, M/M, Stanchez Summer Sizzle, for the shish kabobs - family prompt, only rated T because rick likes to say fuck a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 02:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11244864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibajun/pseuds/chibajun
Summary: Rick and Stan are newlyweds and Rick takes Stan over to meet the family for the first time. It goes about as well as Rick expects it to.





	Ricknames

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for the Stanchez Summer Sizzle! I'm aware it's probably pretty OOC and not great, but just enjoy it for what it is lol....also ao3 literally will not let me indent whether i do it with tab or a space bar or html stuff so I know there isn't indentation but it isn't for lack of trying. maybe ill figure it out

Rick burst through the door, his spidery fingers laced loosely through Stanley's thick, strong ones.  


"H-hey guys - I'm home," Rick said with a sigh, as if showing up with a mystery man after being gone for a few weeks was commonplace.  
He strolled through the living room, dragging Stan behind him. The Smith family was sitting around the dinner table, jaws dropped so far they might've hit the table. The room was silent, save for the sound of utensils dropped onto plates.  


"Uhhh...dad?" He heard Beth pipe up.  


"Mmm.. _urrrp_ yeah?"  
He didn't bother to turn around when his daughter spoke.  


"Who's that...?" She asked cautiously with a forced sweet tone.  


"Oh." Rick's expression was flat. "This guy? This is my, uh, hu-husband, Stan." He looked at Stan with a cheesy grin.  
The Smiths stood up at once, wide-eyed.  


"Excuse me?!" said Beth.  


"Grandpa's MARRIED?!" Summer exclaimed.  


"Yeah, yeah, yeah.." Rick trailed off, waving his hand to shut his family up.  


"Dad!" Beth said in disbelief. "You can't just-just barge in here and say you're married! We don't even know this guy!  


"Well.." Rick made a face. "I already did. Sorry sweetie. Let's go, Stan." He continued through the room, pulling his husband by the hand.  
Jerry leaned in and asked in a whisper, "Is this some elaborate prank of his? Isn't this the guy that lectured our son on how romance isn't real and love is only a chemical?"  


"Y-your guess is as good as mine, Dad," said Morty with a soft shrug.

"Geez, Rick," Stan pulled him back. He had a teasing grin on his face - he knew Rick dreaded social situations that didn’t involve him being superior. "Don't I at least get to say hi to your family? Aren't you gonna, you know, introduce me, like normal people do?"  
Rick rolled his eyes, but his impatient expression softened when he saw the pleading smile on his husbands face. Rick let out a deep sigh, accompanied by another eye roll.  
He turned around to face his family.  


"Thi-this is Stanley. We, uh, got married a-a few weeks back. So, he's part of the family now, I guess," he said with a soft shrug and a flat expression, bordering on an irritated one.  
Stanley noticed Rick's stutter worsening - he was definitely nervous, and trying to hide it by feigning not caring. He was torn between finding it humiliating or adorable. Rick felt heat creep onto his face. The sensation made him immensely uncomfortable.  
Summer elbowed her brother.  


"Grandpa Rick's blushing! God, this is so good!" She said in an excited whisper.  
Stan had a thrilled smile on his face as he looked over Rick's family - he couldn't believe he was finally meeting them after Rick tried to talk him out of it for so long. The way Rick had made Stan envision the encounter led him to believe it would be a disaster.

Summer leaned in with an elbow on the table and one eyebrow raised.  


"So, how long have you two been together?"  


“ _Please get me the fuck outta here_ ,” Rick thought. He had to physically stop himself from saying it aloud.  
Rick shrugged at Stan.  


"At least, uh.." he took a second to think. "A few- _urp_ \- years or something like that."  


"A few YEARS?!" The whole family went wide-eyed.  


“Grandpa got game!” said Summer.  


“Where was he when we-we needed advice on this?” asked Morty jokingly. Summer laughed as if to agree with him.  


"And you didn't think to ever, I don't know, tell your family about this?" Beth asked accusingly.  
Rick pretend to think about it.  


"Nope."  
Beth squeezed the bridge of her nose and shook her head. She didn't know what else she expected from her father.  


"Anyway," Rick continued, slinging a skinny arm over Stan's shoulder. He shot the family a look to tell them he had no intent on dragging this thing out. "Stan, here-here's Morty, Summer, Jerry -" his tone was harsh on the last name "- and Beth, my daughter."  
Stan grinned at them.  


"Well, I'm happy to finally meet ya!" He said with a big grin. The family murmured similar responses to tell him the feeling was mutual. He turned to Rick and squeezed his hand. "Wanna show me around, babe?"

Rick tensed up and felt his whole body flush. Babe?! He wasn't ...a babe! That was a nickname he was sure was reserved for disgusting week-long high school flings. He wasn’t some pretty teenager, he was a grown man who had seen the multiverse, and was the smartest man in it to boot. He'd had near-death experiences, and the fear he felt then didn't even come close to the unusual and uncomfortable feeling inside him at that moment. His head was spinning. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this kind of embarrassment. It wasn’t in his nature or his desires to ever be the object of ridicule. His whole image was fucked; He'd never ever live this down.

His consciousness finally left his crazy thoughts long enough to hear the clamor coming from the table.  


"Babe?!"  


"Awww"  


"Ewwwww!"  


"What the hell?!"

Rick had never experienced an emotion like this before - and he felt it so hard he couldn't even spit out a comeback to derail the humiliation. His mind scrambled to think of a way to buffer the damage or to get out. He looked at Stan, panicked.  
Stan was grinning forcefully and nervously. He couldn’t understand what was going on with Rick, but he could read his body language well enough to know something was wrong.  
"Yeah, I-I gotta take-take a shit," Rick said as he walked away, his pace quickening when he knew no one was watching him anymore.

Stan laughed nervously and started small talk with the Smiths, trying to avert attention away from his painfully awkward husband who just fled the room. Beth invited him to sit, and he gladly made himself comfortable. He answered all the Smiths' questions - How he met Rick, what he did for a living, what his interests were - even the highly invasive and possibly inappropriate ones asked by Summer and Morty. Stan was soon caught up in a family-wide conversation; He and the kids kept themselves entertained by sharing embarrassing stories about Rick back and forth, each story sending them all into laughter.  


"Speaking of your grandpa," Stan lifted himself out of his chair. "Should probably go check on him, huh? I'll be back in a bit." 

 

Rick sat at his workstation, head in his hands and thoughts spinning. He chugged the last drops from the bottle of vodka before dropping it and taking a sip of something stronger from his flask.  
_Jesus Christ, this is humiliating.  
He never calls me stupid shit like that, no one’s ever called me shit like that..why now? Is he trying some new technique for getting laid? Is he on something? It's fucking ridiculous, I'm not some little bitch who needs pet names. I'm the smartest man in the multiverse - wait - that’s it! The multiverse. I can move . Never show my face again. I'll never live this bullshit down anyway. Might as well get cozy somewhere else. They love me where I’m not banned or wanted. _

Rick whipped out his phone and began searching for potential planets to start a new life on. 

 

Stan opened the door to the garage. Rick turned around angrily, expecting someone he didn't want to see, but smiled when he saw Stan.  


"Stan! I'm glad y-you're _urrrp_ here." Rick's speech was slurred. "According to my-my computer, there are about a hu-hundred planets we could m-move to. I can sh-show _urp_ you!"  
Rick was grinning hopefully, pretending as if Stan were unaware of his humiliation-induced state of emotional chaos.  
Stan sighed. Rick had been drinking - he could tell by how bad his stutter was when he spoke - and the belching mid-sentence. He had spent more than enough time with Rick to develop a skill for recognizing his varying levels of drunkenness, and right now was pretty close to as bad as it got.  


"Rick, what the hell are you talking about? We're not going anywhere. We have fine places to live here."  


"W-well we can't stay here! Not after tha-that." Rick’s tone of excitement faded to tension.  


"After what?"  


"Y-you calling me f-fucking _urrrp_ 'babe!'" His slammed his hands on the desk and looked at Stan aggressively.  
Stan's serious expression broke as he fell into a fit of laughter.  
Rick stared flatly, hiding every ounce of humiliation he felt, while he watched Stan nearly die laughing.  


“W-what the fuck are you laughing at?”  
Stan wheezed and put a strong hand on Rick's shoulder.  


"Maybe I'll start callin' you that more often, if you're gonna act like a baby about stuff like this!"  


"Y-yeah fuck you, Stan. You- _urp_ -you don't really get to be con-condescending to me here. Y-you made a f-fuck-fucking fool out of yourself in front of my st-stupid family with that..that whole act of yours out there." His arms were crossed defensively in front of his chest as he glared at Stan.  


"It's called being friendly, Rick. You have a rough time with that concept, huh?" He looked at Rick meaningfully, his frustration visible.  


"No!" Rick snapped. "I just-just don't waste m-my valuable time with that gar- _urp_ -bage"  
Stan put a hand to his forehead, equal parts frustrated and amused by his husband’s means of deflecting criticism.  


"Christ," Stan groaned. "Whatever, just-"  
He looked at Rick and stopped speaking when he realized how awful he looked. His eyes were sad and tired, his hair a greater mess than usual. There were fresh spots where various drinks had spilled on him.  


"Rick, how much did you drink?"  


"None of your fu- _urp_ -cking business, Stan. Wh-why are you b-b-babying me like this?! The nicknames, the-the asking about me... Y-you're in no position f-for that!"  


"And what would put me in that position, huh? Being as smart as you?!”  
Rick became more angry with himself. He knew about Stan's insecurities, and he was shit at being sensitive towards them.  
Rick shook his head.  


"No, no, fuck, no.”  


"Yeah," Stan exhaled, sounding defeated.  


"Listen," he put a hand on Rick’s arm, and Rick didn't resist - his warm touch was soothing. "I'm not gonna argue with you on this. I'm just looking out for ya, okay? Because I wanna make sure you're okay, because I care about you, and I love you."  
Rick's expression softened as soon as the words left Stanley's mouth.  


"Sure, o- _urp_ -kay, Stan. I-I'll let you think I can't see through that one."  
Stan chuckled and shook his head. He knew Rick believed him. The tough act didn’t work on him. 

The ever-trustworthy alcohol had betrayed Rick - it didn't stop him from feeling, not right now. Stan's warm gentleness made it hard for Rick to treat him as harshly as he did everyone else. He felt all his anger melt away with Stan’s body heat next to his.  
Stan slid his hand over Rick's, gently intertwining their fingers.  


"And I didn't call you that to make fun of you, or whatever you think. It's just something people call the people they love, and if you hate it that much then -"  


"Shut up for a second." Rick stifled a belch. "I don't - I don't h-hate it. You..you can call me that." He felt his face heating up and he knew Stan could see it.  
"And Stan," Rick grabbed Stan's arm and stared intently into his eyes, making sure Stan understood his intent. "I don't th-think I'm-I'm better or smarter than you or whatever you said. I-I don't want you to think that. I know you feel bad about that shit but-but your brain is lying to you.”  
Stan smiled while listening to Rick so desperately trying to convince him.  


"I'm surprised you remember that far back in the conversation. You're pretty, uh, smashed there."  


"No shit, Stan. I'm- _urp_ -not an idiot. And- and maybe it's m-making me say this," Rick sighed loudly and dragged his hands over his face. "I'm sorry. I don't do it a lot but-but I messed up and I'm sorry."  
Stan was in disbelief. Rick Sanchez didn't apologize for anything, not unless he was being sarcastic.  


"And," he took a deep breath. "Y-you can call me whatever you want, just not where anyone can hear us." His tone was firm in his last statement, telling Stan that Rick was pretty damn serious about it, and he didn't dare mess with that.  
"Got it?" Rick's tone was angry, but Stan saw a warm grin creeping onto his face, which melted into a laugh of disbelief that he was having a discussion so soft.  
Stan opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped when he felt Rick's thin arms wrap around him. He rested his head on Stan's broad shoulder, exhaling deeply as if releasing his feelings into Stan.  


"I'm sorry," he whispered as if he didn't want Stan to hear him.  
Stan ran a hand through Rick's hair, smiling fondly.  


"What's this all about? Did you take some new strong space drug that makes you a big softie? Or does this much alcohol make you have normal human feelings?”  
Rick grunted and frowned, but only clung to Stan tighter.  


"You-you're ruining it Stan. Shit, I-I'm just trying to be nice. Be a good husband or what- _urp_ -ever."  
"Listen," he continued with a sigh."I'm-I'm not good with this-this kinda shit, y-you know that. Romance and-and feelings. And I don't - I don't care about this - people being m-mad at me but-" he put a hand on his forehead, in disbelief of what he was saying but not trying to fight it. "You're..you're special, Stan. It-its different. I care. Because...because I love you."  
Stan was too surprised to speak. Sure, Rick had used the L-word with him before, but he had never opened up quite like this. This time it was with a different sort of sincerity. It sounded look a new word coming from him in this setting. 

Rick kicked himself mentally.  


"God, fuck, this is stupid. You-you- _urp_ -didn't hear that. It's the alcohol, or-or something. Just forget it."  


"Hey, hey, Rick," Stan held him tighter. "Relax. You're freaking out. It's ok. I like it when-when you talk to me, about the things you don't tell people about. Makes me happy."  
That same dreadful warm feeling made its way back to Rick’s face.  


"W-well guess you'll be sad forever then. I don't have any more to say."  
It was Rick's most transparent lie to Stan yet.  


"Yeah, okay tough guy, whatever you say," said Stan with a cheeky grin. "You talk to me when you got something to say though, okay?"  


"I like it when you do the talking, Stan. That- _urp_ -that sexy, deep voice. Could listen to it all day, baby.”  


"Hm. Fair enough,” Stan replied with a chuckle. “Can we finish up with your family now? There are..," he smirked. "Things we need to do."  
Rick mirrored his smile.  


"I like what you got in mind, big guy.” He flashed a devious smile at Stan and gave his hand a squeeze.  
Without warning, he grabbed Stan's face in his hands and kissed him, sweetly, with no aggressive or sexual intent. It was chaste and gentle. A kiss that felt like love. Stan was blushing when Rick pulled away, his face frozen in pleasant surprise. Rick grinned, both to Stan and himself, for getting his husband flustered. He felt it was his turn to do the romance.  
" _Sappy old bastard_ ," Rick thought fondly.  


"Let's go” He pulled Stan by the arm. “I-I need ano- _urp_ -ther drink."  


"Like hell you do, _babe_."


End file.
